Monday, February 10, 2014

In Which We Have a Bit of an Honesty Hour and I Leave Home - Again

Yes, I know. I suck. The communication has been terrible, and I apologize. Well, I'm actually sorry. (The Manns have this thing where if they're not actually sorry, they apologize, but if they really are, they say that they're sorry. So, I'm sorry.) I didn't write an email last week, and I haven't written letters in a long time - I'm trying to get caught up.

I haven't been completely honest with y'all, so we're going to pull an Elder Gonzalez and have some honesty hour. I'm not sure how many of you know, but I have depression, anxiety, and ADD, and they have been going completely haywire for the last - well, if we're honest, the last 6 months. Things were pretty bad for my first couple of transfers, but they got better. In the last month and a half or so, I've been really, really struggling. 

Missions are hard - don't let anyone tell you otherwise. They're kind of a pressure cooker - they take everything you have and amplify it. The goods get better, but the weaknesses also get bigger. It's been harder than anything I could have imagined, and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to give up and come home on a regular basis.

But, I made it. Thanks to modern medicine and a lot of love, I'm still here, and I'm still kicking. I know that I've been in a lot of peoples' prayers and that my name has been included in many prayer rolls and fasts, and I am so very grateful to each of you for that - I know that I would not have made it without that help.

The lessons I've learned over the past few weeks are so immense, the struggles have been (dare I say) worth it. I have come to know so very acutely the love that my Father in Heaven has for me, and how much He is in control of my life. In the deepest, darkest moments, I never doubted that He was near. In those moments, that may have been all I knew, but I knew that, and I made it through.

I've also learned a lot about endurance. I had a talk with President Pingree and we talked about the word enduring. He said that he hadn't really liked that word all too much, but then he remembered the reason why we're here doing this whole "life" thing. If we're here to learn and grow, why would the Lord put us in fields of flowers to frolic all the days? It's hard. I'll admit that enduring is not my favorite thing, but with the Lord on my side, I can do it.

Things have been going well over here. Megan and Tim have a baptismal date, and we've been getting a lot more help from the ward. The bishop challenged all of the ward council yesterday to invite one person to meet with us in the next two weeks, and a few of them have already introduced us to friends.

Then, last night, we got a call from my good friend Elder Stewart. He says that I'm being transferred tomorrow. I don't know where I'm going or who I'll be with, but I know that I have to report to the Hafer building... sometime tomorrow morning. I should probably figure out when. That'd be a good idea.

I didn't think it'd actually happen, so I was totally shocked. It's hard - I love this area so much. I love my companion, I love the missionaries I'm serving with, I love the ward members, and I love our investigators. At the same time, though, I know that I wouldn't be leaving if it weren't the best thing for me. It feels a bit like leaving home again, but I'll be back soon enough, so it's okay.

Thank y'all so much for everything you do. I am so grateful for each of you and feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people around me. Have a wonderful week, and I will talk to you soon!

Sister Liljenquist


Elder Peterson and Elder Darnell have fun with the wagon-type-thing.


The Spring District - minus the Legends Elders, because they've had strep for the last week, so they've been in quarantine.

Elder Christensen and Elder Gonzalez say goodbye.

Sarah Mann loves me - and I love her.

The last view of the picture wall before it came down. It was a beauty.

Helping out at the special needs horse ranch


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